Minnesota is a unique place with its own set of social norms, traditions, and quirks. Moving to the Land of 10,000 Lakes can be an exciting experience, but understanding the subtle nuances of “Minnesota Nice” can be a challenge, especially when it comes to making friends and interpreting invitations. Before you pack your bags, here are a few things you should know about Minnesotan culture and what certain phrases really mean.
1. The Social Calendar Dance: What People Say vs. What They Mean
Minnesotans are known for their politeness, which can sometimes make social plans feel a little ambiguous. While you might think someone is genuinely interested in attending your event or getting together, Minnesotans have their own way of gently letting you down.
Here’s how to decode some of the most common responses:
- “We might be there.” – Translation: Not coming.
- “I’ll let you know.” – Translation: Not coming.
- “Hmm, not sure yet.” – Translation: Very sure about not coming.
- “I’ll see if we can make it work.” – Translation: It will not work, and we are not coming.
- “I’ll think about it.” – Translation: There’s nothing to think about, and we’re not coming.
Minnesotans often avoid directly saying “no” because they don’t want to seem rude or hurt anyone’s feelings. As a result, many of these phrases are polite ways of declining without confrontation. For those moving from other states, this indirect communication can be a bit confusing and lead to misunderstandings.
2. Making Friends Takes Time (Maybe Generations)
Minnesota can be a tough place to make friends, especially if you’re new to the state. It’s often said that in smaller towns, you’re considered an outsider until at least the fifth generation. While this might be an exaggeration, there’s some truth to the fact that Minnesotans tend to be slow to warm up to newcomers.
Part of this stems from the reserved, cautious nature of the locals, many of whom might wait months before sharing their phone number or extending an invitation. It’s not that they’re unfriendly, but building trust takes time. Some people joke that you almost have to live with someone before they trust you enough to make plans and keep them.
3. The Minnesota Goodbye (It’s Never Quick)
If you’re not from Minnesota, you’ll quickly learn that leaving a social gathering can be a long process. The infamous “Minnesota Goodbye” involves multiple rounds of farewells and can stretch out for 30 minutes or more.
It starts with “We should get together again soon!” (Translation: Not coming), followed by lingering in the doorway while exchanging small talk. Even once you make it out the door, don’t be surprised if you’re still chatting on the front porch or at your car. While it’s a charming custom, it can be frustrating if you’re trying to make a quick exit.
4. Minnesota Nice: Polite, but Sometimes Passive
“How’s it going?” is often not an invitation to start a conversation in Minnesota. If you hear someone ask this with an even or downward tone, it’s more of a greeting rather than a genuine inquiry into your well-being. The expected response? A simple “Good and you?” followed by “Not so bad,” no matter how your day is going. This exchange is quick and signals that no further conversation is required.
Minnesotans are generally very polite, but this can sometimes be mistaken for being aloof or distant, especially for newcomers trying to form deeper connections. Locals might seem friendly, but they often shy away from getting too personal too quickly.
5. “Ope!” and Other Localisms
In Minnesota, you’ll quickly learn to appreciate the versatility of the word “Ope!” It’s used as a substitute for “oops,” as well as a polite way to excuse yourself if you accidentally bump into someone or invade their space. Minnesotans are extremely mindful of personal boundaries, and “Ope!” is the perfect way to acknowledge a minor social blunder.
You’ll also encounter other local phrases like “Oh, that’s interesting!” which, more often than not, translates to “That’s weird, and I don’t like it.” These polite expressions help Minnesotans maintain their reputation for being nice, even when they’re not entirely on board with what’s happening.
6. Don’t Be Discouraged: Friendships Are Worth the Wait
While it can be challenging to break into social circles in Minnesota, the effort is well worth it. Once you do make friends, you’ll find that Minnesotans are incredibly loyal and dependable. Whether it’s braving the cold winters or attending local festivals, there are plenty of opportunities to connect with like-minded people – especially other transplants who are also trying to find their footing.
Moving to Minnesota comes with its own set of social norms and quirks, but understanding how Minnesotans communicate can make your transition smoother. Embrace the culture, get used to the subtle signals, and remember that patience is key. And who knows – after a few winters, you might even find yourself saying “Ope!” without even thinking about it.
David Gooden | Twin Cities Relocation